Saturday, March 14, 2009
Doing fyp in hospitals is interesting. “This makes no sense…” [It certainly makes sense to the 67 other doctors] “It is not specific enough…” [It is not meant to be specific] “Why are you doing this? I can just scribble on it and at the end of the day when you write the report, it makes no sense…” [It will be better if you can afford time to scribble on it] “Have you even read a pathology report before?..” (Flashing a report full of scribblings at me) [If I had no respect, I probably would have left right away] “How can you prepare for a project like this when you have not read any pathology reports…?" [Why do I need to?? I am not even a medical student!!!???This project was given by my supervisor...and you are degrading all the survey questions which my supervisor has set and approved??] It is good that my supervisor told me not to care about him at the mere mention of his name. I guess he must not have been so well liked afterall..
While many of my friends’ fyps are done in the setting of a laboratory, where the only people they interact are probably their own supervisor/prof and a few other phd students, I have the opportunity to meet doctors on a face to face level to survey them. This involves a more interactive platform for me. The responses from some of the doctors are encouraging, but for others, the responses are less than forthcoming and it became a chore to get results from these professionals.
There was one particular pathologist very old in age, being a senior in the hospital and I can tell he has been working in the hospital for a very long time, judging from the photos of the various conventions/conferences he has been to, all nicely displayed and framed up in his office. I introduced myself and he warmly dropped the things he is doing to attend to me. He asked me to sit down while I passed him the slip of survey questions while he patiently read the questions out (in a rhetorical manner as if to make sense of all the words that were written there) and filled up the form, giving thought to each number and word he wrote. It was fun throughout my entire time with him because I was treated with respect and sincerity. I am only a student, while he is already so highly respected and senior in his medical profession. I felt good. There was a particular bible verse from Psalms displayed on his table. He looked pleasant and even asked me to update him of the results after I have collected them all. It certainly encouraged me.
Such response is not very frequently experienced. While some of the clinicians are courteous enough to receive my survey forms (at least they didn’t decline to complete the forms but I know they just chuck it aside in the end), some of them shut me out even before I have the time to explain. There was this Indian doctor who greeted me with, “I am too busy for that” a few seconds after my introduction. The ultimate one was the pathologist who bombarded me with lots of questions which sadly didn’t go well with his profession. This was the one with large Japanese writings of religious paintings on his walls.
Some of the things he said after looking at my survey. (His exact words)
It is disheartening. I tried explaining to him nicely the best that I can but after a few questions, I realised he was out to get me. So I just quietly stood aside, like a dummy....and even thanked him for his time with a smile before exiting. Wonder how I could have done that at that time.
Well, the deadline is near, and I am probably going to be on full gear these few days….=.=
Tuesday, March 3, 2009
Teaching my tuition kid, Aiden, has been an interesting experience for me.
This student is a smart one, one who can absorb fast and pay attention to the teacher. When it comes to science, he always likes to ask interesting questions that are spontaneous and random. However, his attention span is quite short and sometimes, when I teach him some stuff nearing the end of the tuition session, he has already shut himself off and starts fiddling with the calculator, scribbling on his paper etc.
Somehow, teaching him makes me reflect about how we relate to God.
In order to teach someone, I have to be one step ahead of him. I have to comprehend the question beforehand and have an idea on how to solve it before guiding him in approaching the question in a particular manner. If I am on the same level as he is, I would not be able to teach him nor guide him through because I am as blur as he is. God is always one step ahead of us. In fact, the bible says God's thoughts are higher than our thoughts, God's ways are higher than our ways. We will never be able to surpass God in his understanding of the entire situation we are in. Aiden tries to keep up with me by asking questions and paying attention to what I told him. WE try to keep up with God by engaging in a time of prayer and listening to what God wants to tell us. The way to really approach any situation in our lives is not to consider our own opinion only. Consider God's thoughts in every situation. What does he think of it? Have you even consulted him??
Whenever the time of my tuition session is about to end, Aiden would feel restless and starts to shut off. His attention would be distracted by other things, like how the ink of my pen would smudge on his rough paper, how the birds outside are flying, how his calculator works etc. Overtime, I have learned to repeat to him and go at a slower pace whenever he is restless just so that he can understand. However, sometimes, he would just miss out some of the more important points which I explained to him patiently again and again. That's because his mind is already somewhere else. Many a times, when we start praying, we are excited. We are particularly sensitive. We pay attention, focus and meditate on the word of God with all our minds. But after some time, we become tired. We lose our attention span and gets distracted in other things, like why that particular friend has not replied our sms, how are we going to do our assignments/projects, what should we do tomorrow? All these is done while praying! It can be achieved mind you, but there is no power in our prayer. We fail to tarry in the presence of God. We are just verbally exercising our lips but our minds have gone elsewhere.
Tarrying in the presence comes with time. Last time, I could not even sustain one hour in a service. I would be thinking of other things. But as I begin to immerse more in prayer, I realise it becomes easier and I am able to focus longer.
Put God in every situation and consider His view in them as we navigate the course of life~.